You want me to date who!
by Kitsune-minkchan
Summary: Just some stupid short story I felt like writing. If you like Inu getting plowed into the ground you'll like this. RR please.


Hey Everybody! Kitsune-minkchan here! This is just a one shot Inu Yasha fan fic. It's a humorous one. I'm probably not going to continue it. But I would like reviews on it. Tell me what you think. Also, if you like this fic, you should check out my other Inu Yasha fic, Two Hearts. I also have a Fishigi Yugi Fic posted. It's called, Lost in Fiction. Well, anyways, on with the fic!  
  
Disclaimer: You stupid lawyers can stick it in your nasty asses. I'm not saying it.   
  
"You want me to Date Who?!"  
  
Kagome stood over an unconscious Inu Yasha. He lay on the ground holding up a bowl of ramen.  
"Inu Yasha no BAKA!" Kagome yelled. "Why can't you ever say something nice about the lunches I make!"  
Inu Yasha, though being previously unconscious, stood up and glared at her.  
"Well maybe if you actually made something eatable I would have something nice to say about it!" He shouted back.  
Kagome's face turned red in anger. Flames surrounded her body and she clenched her teeth.  
"Inu Yasha." She said between gritted teeth. Inu Yasha "gulped" and took a step back.  
"SIT!" Kagome screamed. Thud and "Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" were Inu yasha's only responses. Kagome turned away from him and faced her friends.  
"You guys liked the lunch I made right?" She asked. All others present nodded.  
"It was very good Kagome-chan." Sango said.  
"Yes," Miroku agreed, "I'm afraid Inu Yasha has no sense of taste." Miroku said as his hand reached out to grasp Kagome's bottom. Before he got the chance however he was struck firmly in the head by Sango's boomerang.  
"Hentai!" Miroku lay flat on the ground right next to Inu Yasha. Sango nodded in satisfaction.  
"That's were you two belong." She said. Sango looked up at Kagome. She just had to know something.  
"Kagome-chan? I have to ask you. What do you see in Inu Yasha anyway?" Kagome looked up at her, shocked.  
"What do you mean Sango-chan?" Little question marks popped up around Kagome's head. Sango sweat dropped.  
"Well, he's just so.so.I don't know. Stupid." She said. Kagome tilted her head to the side. That was true. His was stupid, and rude, and mean, and inconsiderate.  
"What do you suggest?" Kagome said a bit jokingly. Sango thought for a moment, then snapped her fingers.  
"I know two guys that would be just your speed Kagome-chan!" She said with a big smile. Kagome rolled her eyes. She already knew one, Kouga.  
"And who would they be?" She asked anyway. Sango's smile got bigger.  
"Well, one I'm pretty sure you already guessed is Kouga." Kagome nodded.  
"The other one is Sesshoumaru!" Kagome's jaw dropped.  
"What!" was all she could say. Sango's smile changed to a wicked grin.  
"Oh come on Kagome-chan, admit it, you think he is gorgeous." Sango said slyly.  
"Well yeah, I mean.No.Well.that is.um." Kagome stuttered. Sango burst into laughter, and Kagome's face turned beet red.  
"I knew it!" Sango laughed, "You think that he is absolutely yummy too!" Kagome grinned.  
"Oh like you don't stare at his ass every time you see him!" She said. Sango blushed.  
"Well, I never said I didn't! But admit it Kagome-chan! You need a drool cup every time he shows up!"  
"Okay, okay. So he's a babe. I admit it." Kagome said. This whole time Shippo and Kirara just stood back watching the two girls. Shippo turned to Kirara.  
"Doesn't this whole conversation seem kinda pointless?" He asked the Fire Neko. Kirara nodded in response. Kagome and Sango turned to Shippo.  
"It only seems pointless because you're young and a boy." Sango said. Shippo just shrugged his shoulders. Kagome and Sango exchanged a glance before continuing with their conversation.  
"Anyway," Sango said, "What do you think his best feature is Kagome- chan?" Kagome didn't even have to think about that one.  
"That's easy! How sexy he is!" she said. Sango laughed histarically.  
"I, haha, agree, haha, with that, haha!" She said between laughs.  
"Oh and that hair!" Kagome continued. Sango laughed harder.  
"And his eyes!" Kagome went on. Sango had tears poring down her face.  
"And of course his ass!" Kagome literally was drooling. Sango fell over from the force of her laughter. By this time both Inu Yasha and Miroku were up, staring in stunned disbelief at both women.  
"I can't believe she just said that." Inu Yasha mumbled to Miroku. Miroku only nodded dumbly.  
"Ya know," Kagome said, "I think I am going to go find Sesshoumaru." Sango started laughing even harder as Kagome turned pretending to go off in search of Sesshoumaru. She managed to fool two dimwitted men however.  
"Kagome wait! NO! Don't leave me!" Inu Yasha cried as he grabbed her arm. Kagome looked back over her shoulder at the Hanyo.  
"Gomen ne Inu Yasha, but I'm going to go find your brother." She said with an absolutely strait face. Inu yasha's jaw dropped, and tears formed in his golden eyes.  
"You mean, you really don't want to be with me anymore?" He asked, the tears sliding down his cheeks. Kagome turned around, stunned.  
"Oh! Inu Yasha I was only joking!" she said.  
"Really?" She nodded her head vigorously. She smiled brightly at him.  
"I don't think she was joking." Came a silky voice that carried no emotion. All eyes turned to see none other than the Taiyoukai of the West standing not far away. Inu Yasha growled and immediately drew his sword, charging full tilt at Sesshoumaru. Before Inu Yasha could reach him, however, he seemingly disappeared only to reappear next to Kagome.  
"How is it that you can put up with a hothead like my half-breed brother?" He asked Kagome, still showing no emotion.  
"I.um."  
"Sesshoumaru you bastard!" Inu Yasha interrupted, lunging at his brother again. And again Sesshoumaru sidestepped his brother's clumsy attack. Using his whip, Sesshoumaru knocked Inu Yasha back a few feet, and came once again to Kagome's side. This time taking one of her hands in his.  
"Would you like to be my mate Kagome?" He asked with a totally serious expression. Kagome looked up into his golden eyes and felt like she was going to melt.  
"Don't you dare Kagome!" Inu Yasha shouted, breaking her out of her trance. Kagome turned a heated glance to Inu Yasha.  
"I wasn't!" she shouted back.  
"You were thinking it!" Inu Yasha retorted.  
"No I wasn't!"  
"Oh right, like I didn't just see you giving him big lovesick puppy eyes!" Inu Yasha yelled.  
"You're a fine one to talk! What about all of the puppy eyes you give Kikyo!" Kagome yelled back.  
"That's different!" Inu Yasha shouted. Kagome's face turned red with anger, and flames surrounded her body once more. She lowered her head.  
"Inu Yasha." she said in a deadly quiet voice that even made Sesshoumaru take a step back.  
"Oh no." Was all Inu Yasha could say. Kagome jerked her head up, flames shooting from her eyes.  
"SIT! SITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSITSIT! SIT! SIT! SIT!" Inu Yasha repeatedly plowed into the ground. Until he was completely lost from sight.  
"Wow." Sango said.  
"Eep." Was all Miroku could say.  
"Damn." was Shippo.  
"Well done." Was Sesshoumaru. And Kirara simply shook her head. After taking a few deep breaths, Kagome turned back to the others.  
"So, Sesshoumaru. What was that about me being your mate?" She asked. All jaws dropped.  
"Kagome-sama you can't be serious!" Miroku said.  
"Dead serious." Was Kagome's reply. Miroku and Sango exchanged a glance.  
"Um.Hoshi-sama, did she just say that she wanted to be Sesshoumaru's mate?" Sango asked. Miroku nodded numbly.  
"So Sessy," Kagome said, "Should we go? I don't want to be here when that baka gets out of that hole." She smiled sweetly at him. Sesshoumaru gulped.  
'What have I gotten myself into?' He mentally asked himself. Kagome continued to smile sweetly. Suddenly Sango broke into a huge grin. She gave Kagome a thumbs up.  
"You go Kagome-chan! I knew you could do much better than Inu Yasha!" She said. Kagome returned Sango's smile.  
"Hey Sango-chan, I think I might just need that drool cup after all!" Sesshoumaru looked between the two girls. He had of course heard the conversation between them. But was still a little confused, he thought they had only been joking. Kagome turned back to Sesshoumaru.  
"Well Sessy-kun? Should we go or not?" She asked. Sesshoumaru was to stunned to talk so he simply nodded. Kagome smiled and turned back to Sango.  
"Sango-chan, when that baka wakes up tell him that I went from having table scraps to having the main dish! And I probably wont be back for a while!" Sango nodded while laughing uncontrollably. Kagome turned back to Sesshoumaru.  
"Let's go!" she said a bit too enthusiastically.  
"Wait Kagome!" Shippo called. She turned back to him.  
"Shippo, what?" He jumped up into her arms and held a blue ceramic cup out to her.  
"Here's the cup you said you wanted!" He smiled a bit proudly. Kagome stared at the cup in his hands for a moment before bursting into gales of laughter.  
"Shippo! I wasn't serious! I don't need that cup!" Shippo's lower lip quivered a bit.  
"But I ran all the way back to the hut to get it for you." He said. Kagome laughed again and took the cup.  
"Alright Shippo-chan. Arigato." Shippo's smile returned. And he jumped out of her arms.  
"Remember to come back soon!" he said.  
"Promise!" she replied. With that Kagome jumped up into Sessy's arms and was carried away to his castle to live happily ever after. Both of them having lots of little rug rats and coming back often to the village so their kids could torture Inu Yasha! Everyone but Inu Yasha wished them well! THE END!  
  
That's it! I know it was weird, but I just had this urge to write it. It was going through my head last night and wouldn't leave until I typed it. I hope you enjoyed it! But If you feel the need to flame me, go right ahead! I don't mind. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion! So RR people! 


End file.
